South Park Music Videos!
by Kyle Gon Jinn
Summary: Music videos can be so weird these days. For example, right here, you see a bunch of cool songs with new videoclips for them. SOUTH PARK videoclips! I don't get out enough...
1. Only Wanna Be With You - Hootie and the ...

ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU - HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH  
  
(We see Matt and Kat on the screen. Kat is playing her shiny guitar with a look of ecstacy on her face, and Matt is smiling politely, trying not to flinch at her god-awful playing.)  
  
YOU AND ME,  
  
WE COME FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS  
  
(Shot of Matt, decked out in Croc Dundee gear and catching a football thrown by Nath, then of Kat, dressed up in shiny tinfoil as she makes do with her space-girl act)  
  
YOU LIKE TO LAUGH AT ME WHEN I LOOK AT OTHER GIRLS  
  
(Shot of Matt and Kat. Matt's gaze follows Clarissa/Red across the screen as she walks past. Kat notices this, punches him in the face, and giggles at him when he falls down in surprise)  
  
SOMETIME YOU'RE CRAZY,  
  
AND YOU WONDER WHY  
  
(Shot of Kat attempting to talk to her snorkel. Matt stares at her blankly)  
  
I'M SUCH A BABY 'COS THE DOLPHINS MAKE ME CRY  
  
(Shot of Matt and Kat on the couch, watching Flipper. They're passing a tissue box back and forth)  
  
WELL THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO,  
  
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU  
  
(A giggling Kat leaps into Matt's arms. Whilst surprised at this display of affection, Matt is obviously pleased as well)  
  
YOU LOOK AT ME,  
  
YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT TO SAY,  
  
I MOAN ABOUT AT YOU UNTIL I GET MY WAY  
  
(Kat is now ranting about something or other, whilst Matt gets a glazed look on his face, gradually looking more and more in danger of thudding)  
  
I WON'T DANCE  
  
(Matt shakes his head)  
  
AND YOU WON'T SING  
  
(Kat shakes her head)  
  
I JUST WANNA LOVE YOU BUT YOU WANNA WEAR MY RING  
  
(Shot of Matt and Kat outside a jewellery store. Kat is gazing in awe through the window at a shiny looking engagement ring as Matt looks around nervously. Then Kat gabs Matt's arm and drags him into the shop, a look of doom present on his face. Zed, who is standing nearby, extends him a look of sympathy)  
  
WELL THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO,  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Shot of Matt and Kat, hugging each other tightly and looking all happy and stuff)  
  
YOU CAN CALL ME YOUR FOOL,  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Shot of Kat and Matt looking through a window at old people hooked up to machines that go "blip, blip, blip". Kat makes a ridiculous face against the glass, just like Stan, Kyle and Kenny used to, and after a second, Matt joins in)  
  
PUT ON A LITTLE DYLAN,  
  
SITTING ON A FENCE  
  
(Shot of Matt and Kat standing beside a wooden fence, looking around for someone. Dylan is sitting on the top of the fence, hiding from them)  
  
I SAY THAT LINE IS GREAT,  
  
YOU ASK ME WHAT IT MEANT BY  
  
(Dylan loses his balance and falls off, landing face first in the snow. Kat looks startled and Matt points and laughs at him)  
  
SAID "I SHOT A MAN NAMED GRAY,  
  
(Shot of Maphesto getting... well, shot, from episode 202)  
  
TOOK HIS WIFE TO ITALY  
  
(Shot of Matt sitting in some Italian restaurant with a very old woman who resembles Maphesto. Both look bored stupid)  
  
SHE INHERITED A MILLION BUCKS AND WHEN SHE DIED, IT CAME TO ME,"  
  
(Shot of Matt and Kat by the fence with Dylan still face down in the snow, but now Matt is throwing fistfuls of money into the air. Kat looks more perplexed than ever)  
  
I CAN'T HELP IT IF I'M LUCKY,  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Kat shrugs and pounces, leaping into Matt's arms again. Matt happily forgets the money)  
  
AIN'T BOBBY SO COOL,  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Bobby appears, doing a sort of tap-dance type thing with a goofy look on his face as he goes past. At the end of the guitar solo, he trips and falls offscreen with a crash. Matt and Kat both flinch)  
  
YEAH, I'M TANGLED UP IN BLUE,  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Shot of Kat, who has entangled herself in a pile of blue streamers. Matt looks utterly confused)  
  
YOU CAN CALL ME YOUR FOOL,  
  
(Shot of Kat talking into her snorkel again. After a second she offers it to Matt, who hesitantly takes it, and after a long pause, puts it to his ear)  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
SOMETIMES I WONDER  
  
IF IT'LL EVER END,  
  
YOU GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS  
  
(Shot of Kat talking to the pie queen, who of course, is not really there. Matt has a look on his face that clearly says, "Ugh...")  
  
SOMETIMES YOU'RE CRAZY,  
  
AND YOU WONDER WHY  
  
(Shot of Kat backflipping and somersaulting all over the place. Matt is getting increasingly dizzy from watching her)  
  
I'M SUCH A BABY, YEAH, THE DOLPHINS MAKE ME CRY  
  
(shot of Matt and Kat back on the couch. Now Kat is the only one using the tissue box, as they're watching Free Willy. Matt looks as if he's deciding whether or not to tell her that Willy's a killer whale, not a bottle-nosed dolphin)  
  
BUT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO,  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Matt and Kat shuffle close to each other and cuddle on the couch)  
  
YOU CAN CALL ME YOUR FOOL,  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Shot of Matt serenading Kat in front of the entire school)  
  
YEAH I'M TANGLED UP IN BLUE!  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU!  
  
(Shot of Kat with the blue streamers again. After a moment's hesitancy, Matt comes over and starts to wrap himself up in them too)  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Shot of Matt and Kat happily crossing Stark's Pond, in a little paddle boat)  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Shot of Matt and Kat playing paintball against each other. Though early in the game, both are already turning interesting multi-colours)  
  
I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU  
  
(Closing shot of Matt and Kat, both covered in paintballs, collapsing together in a haystack and kissing as the song ends) 


	2. Bloke - Chris Franklin

BLOKE - CHRIS FRANKLIN  
  
(as the song begins, we see Amber standing by herself. There's a scream from os as Nath speeds into the frame, whizzing past in an out of control wheelchair and screaming, "WAZZUP?!?" There's a crash as he disappear on the other side of the screen. Amber rolls her eyes.)  
  
I HATE THE NEW AGE GUYS  
  
(Shot of Nath running down Pip, then pointing and laughing at him)  
  
I'M A CHAUVINIST, I LIVE ON BEER AND PIES  
  
(Shot of Nath at the table. He's pouring tomato sauce on a meat pie, and has a can of VB beside him)  
  
TRIED TO TELL YA, BUT YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE MAYBE I'M AN ANGEL UNDERNEATH  
  
HAVEN'T BRUSHED ME TEETH!  
  
(Amber runs in and kisses Nath, then gags and runs away, clutching at her throat. Nath shrugs and starts to eat his pie)  
  
YESTERDAY I LIED  
  
BUT ALL ME MATES GAVE ME A REAL GOOD ALIBI. THANKS GUYS!  
  
(Matt sticks his head in and yells, "That's okay!"  
  
I REALLY WENT OUT DRINKIN', I TOLD YOU I WAS AT WORK  
  
(Shot of Nath at a bar, totally sloshed. He's lying back asleep in his wheelchair, VB cans littering the ground around him)  
  
DON'T ASK ME FOR COMMITMENT, 'COS IT'S SOMETHING I WILL SHIRK  
  
(Amber comes in, grumbling, and pushes Nath. Still unconscious in his chair, out)  
  
I'M A BLOKE, I'M AN OCKER  
  
AND I REALLY LOVE YA KNOCKERS  
  
(shot of Nath staring at Amber's chest. She looks down, and can't figure out why he's staring at it)  
  
I'M A LABOURER BY DAY, I PISS UP ALL ME PAY  
  
WATCHING FOOTY ON TV  
  
JUST FEED ME MORE V.B.  
  
JUST POUR MY BEER AND GET MY SMOKES AND GO AWAY  
  
  
  
(shot of Nath watching AFL on TV. He's reclined in an armchair and looking perfectly comfortable as a rather disgruntled Amber walks in, puts a packet of cigarettes on the table beside him, and tops up his beer glass. Nath nods and she exits, muttering rather nasty things)  
  
OR TAKE ME AS I AM  
  
THIS MAY MEAN YOU'LL HAVE TO FETCH ANOTHER CAN  
  
(shot of a very unhappy Amber pulling six-pack after six-pack out of the fridge, and attempting to carry them all in to the lounge room, stacked on top of each other)  
  
REST ASSURED, IF I START TO MAKE YOU BREAKFAST,  
  
I'M GOING TO EXTREMES  
  
(Shot of Nath in the kitchen, trying to make pancakes. He flips the one he's currently working on, but it sticks to the roof, along with a dozen or so that are already up there. Amber walks in, gazes up at the ceiling, then bangs her fist down on the counter. All the pancakes fall down, one each falling on Nath and Amber's heads)  
  
BUT TOMORROW I'LL GET SHITFACED AND TODAY WON'T MEAN A THING  
  
(Shot of a sloshed Nath snoring in his chair again)  
  
I'M A BLOKE, I'M A YOBBO  
  
AND ME BEST MATE'S NAME IS ROBBO  
  
(Matt walks by. Nath sticks a sign on him saying, "Hi! My name's Robbo!" Matt looks down at it in confusion, then at Nath. Nath just shrugs)  
  
WINFIELD IS ME CIGARETTE, I DRESS IN FLANNELETTE  
  
WHERE A SINGLET THAT IS BLUE  
  
(One by one, Nath holds up a pack of Winfields, a flannelette shirt, and a blue singlet in demonstration)  
  
THROW IN A FEW TATOOS  
  
(Nath stands up and turns away from us, pulling down his pants to show Amber a rather vulgar tattoo on his ass. We don't get to see it though, as a black "censored!" bar blocks the way. Amber walks away in disgust.)  
  
YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T WANT ME ANY OTHER WAY  
  
(Shot of Nath playing the guitar solo. Matt and Amber exchange glances and grimace)  
  
WHEN YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT ME FIGURED OUT THE SEASON'S ALREADY CHANGIN'  
  
(Shot of Nath in front of the TV, watching AFL again. Matt sticks his head in and yells, "FROM FOOTY TO CRICKET!" As he does so, Nath switches channels and the cricket comes on)  
  
I THINK IT'S COOL WHEN I ACT LIKE A TOOL AND ME MATES TRY TO SHAVE ME  
  
(Shot of a sloshed Nath at the bar again. Matt and several of the other boys around South Park have pulled him out of his chair and laid him face down on the bar. They pull down his pants, obviously going to shave his ass, but when they see the tattoo, they all look away, disgusted. Stan vomits)  
  
I'M A BLOKE, I'M AN OCKER  
  
AND I REALLY LOVE YA KNOCKERS  
  
(shot of Nath staring at Amber's chest. She growls and punches him in the face)  
  
I'M A LABOURER BY DAY, I PISS UP ALL ME PAY  
  
WATCHING FOOTY ON TV  
  
JUST FEED ME MORE V.B.  
  
JUST POUR MY BEER AND GET MY SMOKES AND GO AWAY  
  
  
  
(shot of Nath back in front of the TV. Amber walks in with his beer and smokes, but instead of giving them to him, she clobbers him over the head with a hockey stick, throws them on the ground, and sets them on fire. She then leaves)  
  
I'M A BLOKE, I'M A YOBBO  
  
AND ME BEST MATE'S NAME IS ROBBO  
  
(Matt walks in, throws his "Hi! My name is Robbo!" sign onto the fire, and leaves)  
  
WINFIELD IS ME CIGARETTE, I DRESS IN FLANELETTE  
  
WHERE A SINGLET THAT IS BLUE  
  
(Amber comes back in, and adds to the fire one by one, a packet of Winfields, a flannelette shirt, and a blue singlet. Then she gets the hell outta there.)  
  
THROW IN A FEW TATOOS  
  
YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T WANT ME ANY OTHER WAY  
  
(Close up of Nath, gradually zooming out to show the living room begin to catch fire. The zoom keeps going, out the window, as the entire house starts to go up in flames. Dash enters the picture and calmly starts to hose the place down) 


	3. Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damil...

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE WHOLE FAM DAMILY - CLEDUS T. JUDD  
  
(This song is pretty much taken from Kenny's point of view, so apart from the bits I've added in, the lyrics basically describe what's happening anyway, okay? Okay. Now picture a festive looking McCormick household - that's right, the whole house has been decked out with old decorations that Kenny and Kevin found in a dumpster behind Father Maxi's church. Sleighbells are ringing as inside, the house is filled with about 50 people - poor people tend to live in packs. And unfortunately for Kenny, who is currently hiding under a table, everyone is fighting quite ferociously.)  
  
'TWAS THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS  
  
AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE  
  
NO FURNITURE LEFT STANDING  
  
NO TV OR COUCH  
  
(Shot of overturned furniture and a broken black and white tv lying on the floor)  
  
OR AQUARIUM, HECK THEY EVEN KNOCKED OVER MY CHIA PET  
  
(shot of a broken glass bowl and a flopping golsfish dying from lack of water, as well as a crappy little weed lying on the floor)  
  
MEEMA WAS FLUNG CROSS THE ROOM BY HER HAIR  
  
BY HER SISTER ETHEL WHO NEVER FOUGHT FAIR  
  
(Shot of the guy who commentated Stan and Jesus' epic fight. He yells into a microphone: "LET'S GET READY TO TUMBLE!!!")  
  
THE CHILDREN ALL WRESTLED AND JUMPED OFF THE BEDS  
  
TOSSIN' ELBOWS AND KNEES AT EACH OTHERS' HEADS  
  
AND MAAMA WITH HER FRYIN' PAN AND PA WITH HIS BAT  
  
CLEARED HALF THE ROOM IN TEN SECONDS FLAT  
  
THE WHOLE BRAWL BEGAN FROM AN INNOCENT MATTER  
  
WHEN AUNT FLO THOUGHT EUGENE SAID  
  
(Shot of Eugene whispering to Kenny's Mum, "She looks a whole lot fatter!")  
  
SHE TOSSED HIM THROUGH THE WINDER, HE FELL WITH A CRASH,  
  
TORE DOWN THE GUTTER AND BUSTED HIS... LEG REALLY BAD  
  
(Stay focused on Eugene lying outside on the snowy ground, leg obviously broken. Stan, Kyle, and Cartman walk past, discussing the poor man's accident.  
  
Kyle: It looked like he'd been in a motorcycle accident or something!"  
  
Cartman: No kiddin!  
  
Stan: Yeah, I couldn't stand to look at it, it was awful! *throws up on Eugene*  
  
Eugene: Awww!  
  
The shot goes back onto Kenny as he scrambles out from under the table just as Stewart and Kenny's mum fall onto it, scratching at each other's eyes. The table collapses. Kenny attempts to find a safer hiding place.)  
  
YOU SEE, BOTH SIDES OF OUR FAMILY NEVER HAVE GOT ALONG  
  
AND EVERY HOLIDAY SOMETHING ALWAYS GOES WRONG  
  
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FIGHT BUT SPREAD JOY IN THIS SEASON!  
  
BUT WHEN THEY'RE GETTIN' IT ON THEY JUST LOOK FOR A REASON  
  
"IT'S THE TIME FOR GIVIN'" SAID UNCLE BILL  
  
AS HE GAVE A BLACK EYE TO HIS BROTHER IN LAW PHIL  
  
I HEARD SOMEONE SAY, "IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS,  
  
AND RIGHT NOW I'M THINKIN' ABOUT KNOCKIN' YOUR BUTT OUT"  
  
PRESENTS AND FISTS FLEW ALL AROUND THE ROOM  
  
AND NANNA HAD SOME PRETTY FANCY MOVES WITH A BROOM  
  
SHE TOOK OUT TWO COUSINS AND KNOCKED OVER THE TREE  
  
AND I DUCKED JUST IN TIME AS SHE SWUNG AROUND AT ME!  
  
(Shot of Stewart, drunk as hell, sitting on the McCormick's roof, shooting at the crappy reindeer decorations but missing terribly.)  
  
IT'S MY FAVOURITE TIME OF YEAR!  
  
DAD ALWAYS HAS TOO MUCH BEER!  
  
GETS ON THE ROOF AND HUNTS REINDEER!  
  
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE WHOLE FAM DAMILY!  
  
TIE THE ANTLERS ON THE DOG!  
  
(Shot of a very scared and underfed looking dog chained up outside. Antlers have been tied to his head)  
  
SWIG SOME SHINE FOR SANTA CLAUS!  
  
(The dog spits on the ground, coughing badly)  
  
FROM ALL OF US TO ALL OF Y'ALL,  
  
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE WHOLE FAM DAMILY!  
  
(Stewart loses his balance and falls off the roof, right on type of thepoor, unsuspecting, canine. Shot goes back to Kenny, who is now trying to get to the phone without getting maimed.)  
  
I CRAWLED TO THE PHONE, LORD IT SEEMED LIKE A MILE!  
  
AND CALLED 911, WHICH WE KEEP ON SPEED DIAL  
  
IN A MATTER OF MINUTES OUT THE WINDOW APPEARED  
  
FLASHIN' BLUE LIGHTS AND THE SHERRIFF JOHN DEERE  
  
JUST THEN SIX MEN BURST THROUGH THE DOOR  
  
SOME YELLIN, "HANDS UP!"  
  
SOME, "GET ON THE FLOOR!"  
  
A STRAY PUNCH FROM GRANDPA FOUND THE SHERRIFF'S CHIN  
  
AND JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE, HE CLOCKED HIM AGAIN!  
  
IT TOOK ALL SIX MEN TO GET GRANDPA IN CUSS,  
  
HE ALWAYS GETS FEISTY WHEN HE'S RUN OUT OF SNUFF  
  
WE ALL STOPPED OUR FIGHTIN' AND CHEERED GRANDPA ON  
  
I THOUGHT HE COULD TAKE 'EM, I GUESS I WAS WRONG  
  
AS THE COPS PULLED HIM OUT HE YELLED, "I'VE BEEN FRAMED!"  
  
HE WAS KICKING AND SCREAMING AND CALLIN' 'EM NAMES!  
  
"****! YOU *****! ***********! LEMME GO ***** YOU NO GOOD DIRTY SON OF A *****!"  
  
WE STOOD ON THE PORCH, AS DID ALL OUR NEIGHBOURS  
  
WHO ALWAYS TOOK INTEREST IN OUR FAMILY'S BEHAVIOUR  
  
"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" WE HEARD GRANDMA SHOUT,  
  
AND "WE'LL TAKE BACK THE PRESENTS, DAD'LL COME BAIL YOU OUT!"  
  
BY NOW WE'D FORGOTTEN WHAT WE WERE FIGHTING FOR,  
  
WE WERE BATTERED AND BRUISED BUT UNITED ONCE MORE  
  
THEN WE ALL JOINED HANDS AND SANG, "VIOLENT NIGHT,"  
  
AND I HEARD GRANDPA EXCLAIM AS THEY DROVE OUT OF SIGHT  
  
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! DAMN, THAT WAS A GOOD FIGHT!"  
  
(Everyone goes back inside, and within seconds the sounds of a brawl have started up again.)  
  
DECK YOUR NEIGHBOUR, DECK THE HALLS!  
  
'TIS THE SEASON FULL OF BRAWLS!  
  
FROM ALL THE IN-LAWS AND THEIR LAWS,  
  
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE WHOLE FAM DAMILY!  
  
(Kenny runs back outside, hood pulled tight around his head as he stands on the porch, breathing a sigh of relief. Then the part of the roof he's standing under collapses and falls down on him.)  
  
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE WHOLE FAM DAMILY!  
  
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE WHOLE FAM DAMILY! 


	4. S.L.U.T.B.A.G - Kyle Gon Jinn

S.L.U.T.B.A.G. - KYLE GON JINN  
  
(It is a dark and stormy night, in a bustling metropolis. This city is Melbourne, and in the dark alleyways and backstreets of this fine place, dirty business is going on. As the music starts, the notorious, well dressed and successful pimp Kyle Gon Jinn [now known as "The all powerful Slutbag"] struts his way down a forgotten alley, alongside Trixie, Bambi, Trudy, and several other of his finest. The customers are lining up around the block, all wanting an hour with the big breasted women. SB cackles maniacally as the bouncer admits his next few customers, accepting their very generous enrty fees.)  
  
THE GLORY BEGINS  
  
WITH ANOTHER BIG WIN  
  
MY WHORES JUST EARNED ME MY FIRST MILLION!  
  
(A new customer happily runs into the alley, having paid SB earlier. The pimp nods, and one of the blonde bombshells attends to the excited young man as SB thumbs through a wad of cash, counting it with an ever growing grin)  
  
HIDING IN THE DARK  
  
THE PERVERT AT HEART  
  
WANTING TO OPEN A BROTHEL SOME DAY!  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, MY CUSTOMERS AREN'T FAGS  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, I'VE GOT THIS GAME IN THE BAG  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, MY CUSTOMERS AREN'T FAGS  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, I'VE GOT THIS GAME IN THE BAG!  
  
(Sirens begin to wail as several police cars burn up the alleyway towards them. SB says something that the writer dares not repeat, then kicks in the door of the building he's standing beside and makes a run for it)  
  
I'M PLOTTING MY SCHEMES  
  
WHEREVER I GO  
  
THEY'RE PERFECT IN EVERY WAY  
  
(A group of the cops enter and search the building, but SB has already escaped through a window and heading for another alley he is familiar with.)  
  
I'D LOVE TO DESTROY  
  
THE BOYS IN BLUE YOU KNOW  
  
THEY'RE AN OBSTACLE THAT ALWAYS GET IN MY WAY  
  
(SB reaches the alley, and sets himself up there like he was in the previous one. Most of his girls have also escaped to the same place, and a crowd of customers is already queuing up.)  
  
I ONLY PLAY THIS GAME BY MY RULES  
  
(Shot of SB walking down the street in broad daylight, looking ever so conspicous with his bright purple Versaci jacket, shiny gucci shoes, and dark Ray Banz.  
  
ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR NEW TOOLS  
  
(He comes across an attractive looking young woman, and offers her a wad of cash. The woman happily goes with him, and that night stands proudly with the other girls, wearing the same skimpy outfit)  
  
ALL MY MACHINES ARE MADE FOR DESTRUCTION  
  
(A gang of thugs armed with pistols shoot the bouncer and demand that SB hand over the girls. SB grins evilly and does so - the girls charge and immediately go about kicking their asses. SB joins in the fun)  
  
I WILL BUILD MY EMPIRE  
  
I'LL CONQUER ALL, SO DON'T YOU SMILE  
  
YOU SHALL SEE, RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!  
  
(The wounded thugs all run for it, shielding their heads with their arms.)  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, MY CUSTOMERS AREN'T FAGS  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, I'VE GOT THIS GAME IN THE BAG  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, MY CUSTOMERS AREN'T FAGS  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, I'VE GOT THIS GAME IN THE BAG!  
  
(Guitar solo plays, during which SB is counting his ever growing pile of cash, and more customers line up to be pleasured.)  
  
I AM THE KING OF PIMPS, I AIM TO PLEASE  
  
GOOD FRIENDS I SOMETIMES LET IN FOR FREE!  
  
(A tough looking bloke in a wheelchair, smoking a joint rolls up. SB nods at him, and the Bouncer lets him in without an entry fee.)  
  
MY NAME IS SLUTBAG, DON'T ASK IT AGAIN  
  
IT'S THE PASSWORD - FORGET IT AND YOU WILL BE MAIMED!  
  
(A weedy looking guy comes up to the bouncer and asks if he can come in. The bouncer asks for a password, which the weedy guy fails to give. The bouncer jumps on him and starts beating the living crap out of him)  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, MY CUSTOMERS AREN'T FAGS  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, I'VE GOT THIS GAME IN THE BAG  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, MY CUSTOMERS AREN'T FAGS  
  
I'M THE SLUTBAG, I'VE GOT THIS GAME IN THE BAG!  
  
(SB holds up fistfuls of cash, cackling madly. Hearing approaching sirens though, he kicks another door in, and makes good his escape.) 


End file.
